Ever since 50 Shades of Grey came out, couples across the globe have realized how boring their sex lives have become! Then, 50 Shades Darker came out and even strictly-missionary-love-making couples are curious about incorporating kinkier, freakier, and sexier experiences in between the sheets. However, being spanked with a paddle while having a gag in your mouth can be a terrifying place to start. Instead, take it slow with soft bondage toys to slowly introduce you and your partner to a little BDSM. When you’re ready to take things up a notch, you can move onto the sex swing and kegel balls but until then, here’s how to start bondage.
What is BDSM?
In order to start with bondage, you have to understand what BDSM means. This will help you determine how much or how little you’re willing to dip into as a beginner to bondage.
B is for BONDAGE
D is for DOMINANCE (or DISCIPLINE)
S is for SUBMISSION
M is for MASOCHISM
As you see, “BDSM” incorporates bondage toys, dominance or discipline toys, submission, and masochism. However, as a beginner to bondage you can pick and choose from any (or all) of those things. If the idea of discipline is too intimidating, erase it from the equation for now.
Set Some Bondage Rules
Even the most intense and hardcore BDSM has rules. Despite the theme being rather savage and uncontrollable, the key to achieving a quality bondage experience is trust. Placing ground rules will give both you and your partner the confidence needed to become completely vulnerable to the other. So, never start bondage without rules.
Here are some things to consider prior to diving in-between the sheets:
- What you’re comfortable with or more importantly, what you’re not comfortable with.
- Discuss whether or not you want to be restricted and if so, how (such as only arms, only legs, not too tight, etc.).
- Always have a safe word! This is the one thing either of you can say to get whatever to stop. As such, it’s important to make it a word that is completely unusual but easy to remember.
Time for Bondage Some Toys
Once you’ve ironed out the fine lines, it’s time to make them wrinkly again with some excitement and bondage toys. As mentioned, you don’t have to go to all extremities as a BDSM beginner. Instead, start with soft bondage toys and work your way up to other, more intense toys. Here are some of our favorites:
#1 Bondage Toy: Hand Cuffs
Handcuffs are a must have for getting started with bondage play. Not only do they allow you to take control but they allow you to tap into your body sexually and let go without worrying about anyone else’s pleasure but your own. Handcuffs are great because they allow you or your partner to take full control while the other one is trapped in pleasure. The fact is handcuffs and ankle cuffs can spice up even the most basic sex. For example people like missionary because they are in close contact with their lover. Throw in some handcuffs and the sensation just went from ordinary too extraordinary. From soft handcuffs to hardcore spreader bars Ella Paradis is sure to have exactly what you are looking for!
Sportsheets S&M Enchanted Starter Kit
Ready to try something new with your partner but will like to keep it classy? Sportsheets has the perfect Starter kit for you, comes in a seductive burgundy color that looks beautiful on all skin tones. Tempt and seduce your lover by using the Satin Blindfold, Feather Tickler, and Satin Tethers to experiment with power exchanges and sensation play.
Tie your lover to your bedpost, or around any other surface by creating the cuff with the easy silky restraints, the blindfold comes with a durable lingerie strap that will allow your partner to experience total blindness.
Enchanted Start Kit Features:
- A Pair of Silky Ties
- Burgundy Satin Blindfold (1)
- Feather Tickler
- Materials: Polyester / 15% Polyurethane / 12% Rooster feathers / 8% Phthalate-free PVC / 5% Elastane
- Easily Adjustable
- Travel Friendly
Fifty Shades of Grey You Are Mine Handcuffs
Perfectly balancing an authentic bedroom bondage experience with the reassurance of imminent escape if required, You. Are. Mine. is a strong pair of lockable handcuffs with a safety mechanism for peace of mind. Easily adjusting to fit most wrists, each cuff secures firmly but can be released instantly by using the lever to the side of the lock.
You Are Mine Handcuffs Features:
- Perfect for first-time bedroom bondage play
- Strong, smooth metal for secure restraint
- Includes 2 sets of keys and quick release lever
- Length: 10.5 inches.
- Fastening: Lock and key.
- Material: Metal.
- Can be released instantly by using the lever to the side of the lock
- Includes branded Fifty Shades storage bag
Sportsheets S&M Enchanted Spreader Bar
The Sportsheets S&M Enchanted Spreader Bar is a strong, durable spreader bar for perfect sexual pleasure. If you want to experiment and add new levels of sexual exploration and add some bondage this is a perfect starter spreader bar. It is a very strong and durable bar, that includes comfortable cuffs with a soft velvet touch.
The cuffs have an easy on and off closure system. You can position differently to perform in various sexual positions to enhance your overall experience.
Enchanted Spreader Features:
- Adjustable: Yes
- Color: Black
- Length: 13.5″
- Weight: 4.48 Ounces
#2 Bondage Toy: Ball Gags
If you are new into bondage you maybe wondering why people use ball gags for bondage play? Well, the gag serves as a silencer, which enhances the BDSM scenes and affects your moment together, especially in a subspace. The submissive, or the individual wearing the gag, will have mental and physical arousal while wearing the gag. If you are ready to explore into the realm of ball gags check one of our favorite ones below.
Sportsheets Saffron Ball Gag
Is your partner starting to get too loud for your liking? If that is the case, then make sure you check out the saffron ball gag. This silicone ball gag is one that is very easy to put in the mouth, but it will also be comfortable fitting and is easy to clean up as well. Look for the gag and know that you can enjoy hearing your partner struggle.
Develop a new way to communicate, reading your partner’s eyes and body. Savor every smothered whimper and groan as you indulge your cravings. Press the ball past your lover’s lips, between those pearly whites, to remind them that they are there to be seen, and not heard. Every moan will be muffled, and every shout will be stifled. The locking strap ensures your plaything’s silence for as long as you desire.
Saffron Ball Gag Features:
- Made of high-quality silicone
- Gag has no taste or smell
- Locking buckle
- Material: Silicone, PV leather
- Metal Adjusts to fit a wide range of sizes
- Color: Black and Cherry
Sportsheets S&M Fishnet Ball Gag
Look into your submissive’s eyes and hear them whimper, while you see the excitement build in their eyes. Heighten any BDSM submission play by asking your partner to communicate without words using the Sportsheets S&M Fishnet Ball Gag proves itself genius when it comes to creating fun and sexy playtime.
This Stylish fishnet designed gag is the perfect accessory for you and your partner’s next play session. They’d thank you for the present if they could. Pair with a Satin Blindfold to play a game of ‘find your erogenous’ zones. To make a statement pair with the Fishnet Cuffs, Fishnet Paddle, and Fishnet Collar and Leash.
Sportsheets S&M Fishnet Ball Gag Features:
- Taste and Smell Free
- Compatible with other BDSM Gear
- Easy Adjustable
- Material: 55% Polyurethane, 30% phthalate-free, TPE, 8% Polyester, 7% Nickel Free metal
- Measurements: Gag size, 1.5″ (3.81cm) in diameter
- Color: Black
#3 Bondage Toys: Leash and Collars
Leashes and collars are great for kinky sex! Especially when you are exploring the world of Domination and Submission role play.
Sportsheets Saffron Leash & Collar
Sometimes our bedroom calls for something a little spicier than the usual, Considering Bondage ? Enjoy this Saffron Leash & Collar Made from vegan leather of the deepest midnight and the brightest scarlet, this collar and leash set looks and feels luxurious so that your power play is sophisticated and sexy.
Wrap the collar around your plaything’s delicate throat. The strap adjusts to fit a wide range of sizes. Attach the leash’s long chain to the D-ring and get a firm grip on the loop handle. Now your partner is under your control. But why can’t you have a little sugar with your spice? Don’t ditch the silk and champagne yet…
FORGET THE ROSES, JUST GIVE ME THE THORNS! Silk sheets, rose petals, candles, and champagne… they’ve got a time and place. But sometimes our sex game needs some spicy. Another great looking and ultra functional play set from the Saffron collection, the Leash and Collar includes a classic padded neck strap plus an extra long chain leash ready to accompany you (or your willing playmate) wherever the night leads.
Securing around the neck, the Collar in Saffron’s signature red and black vegan leather adjusts to fit just about any neck size. Around the front, a sturdy D ring connects with the included 55″ (139.7cm) leash, but you can also hook up with most universal play gear. Sturdy swiveling hardware at the end of the leash can likewise be used with just about any other collar or restraint. Play safe, friends!
Saffron Leash & Collar Features:
- Vegan Leather
- Adjustable strap
- Extra long chain
- 8 in neck diameter
- Universal play gear
- Collar & lead are detachable via hook closure
- Velvety storage pouch included
S&M Shadow Neck And Wrist Restraint
Sex and Mischief Neck and Wrist Restraints. Test your flexibility with the adjustable connection strap. New to bondage? Then this beginner neck and wrist restraint is the perfect jumping off point. Strong enough for experienced players.
Use in the front or behind to keep your partner’s arms in front or behind their body for prayer or hog tie style positioning. Quick easy on and off combine for safe yet thrilling S&M play.
Shadow Neck Features:
- Heavy Duty Nylon
- Quick easy on and off
- Heavy-duty nylon webbing collar to cuffs set.
- Quick easy on and off adjustable, collar and cuffs.
- Adjustable connection strap
- Materials : 75% nylon, 18% nickel free metal, 5% hook & loop
- Includes: 22″ Collar, 20″ restraint strap, 9″ cuffs
#4 Bondage Toys: Ropes
If you are diving into the world of kinky sex you’ve probably already come across some fun ideas you want to try. Here are some fun ropes that you should considering trying for your next kinky adventure!
Fifty Shades of Grey Restrain Me Bondage Rope
Indulge in effective restraint play and learn the art of Shibari with Restrain Me, a set of two silky bondage ropes, each measuring 5 meters (16 feet) in length to fully entwine you or your lover. Durable and strong, they feel wonderfully soft against your skin and are ideal for beginners and experts alike.
Restrain Me Bondage Features:
- Set of two silky bondage ropes,
- Each measuring 5 meters (16 feet) in length
- Durable and strong
- Feel wonderfully soft against your skin and are ideal for beginners and experts alike.
Shibari Natural Hemp Bondage Rope
Making love the same way over and over again can be boring, so we offer you the Natural Hemp Bondage so you can tie your lover down and show them who’s in charge.
Made of 100% Natural Hemp, this Bondage Rope is soft on your body, skin-friendly and flexible while giving you the superior strength to bond your love to total submission. With its 3 strand twist and secure metal tips, you have no need to worry about openings when contorted.
With this rope, your lover sees how much you love them, explore how far they trust you. You two can enjoy the passion and intensity of your intimacy. There is no fear of overdoing things with the Hemp Bondage as it is the perfect template for forgiveness.
Grab this rope now and make better love from now on.
Natural Hemp Bondage Rope Features:
- Superior strength
- 3 strand twist
- Secure metal tips
- No risk of opening when contorted
- Non-toxic and skin-friendly
#5 Bondage Toys: Nipple Clamps
Nipple clamps are amazing for feeling a new sense of stimulation. They work by applying pressure and restricting blood flow, which can provide a painful (and pleasurable) experience. Many people are unaware that you can actually reach orgasm via nipple stimulation alone. So, what are you waiting for? Become a believer with the help of these nipple clamps available at Ella Paradis.
Fifty Shades of Grey At My Mercy Beaded Chain Nipple Clamps
At my Mercy Beaded Chain Nipple Clamps is a sex toy endorsed by the author of the 50 Shades franchise, which means it is crafted for fantastic, cinema-perfect pleasure. These adjustable nipple clamps fitted on a beaded chain offers teasing pleasure with its gentle, pleasure-stimulating pinches. The chain can be tugged for added stimulation.
Two options are available to you when using these nipple clamps: You can pinch the nipples for an exciting feeling throughout intercourse or foreplay; or, wear them for a short period of time then release them for heightened pleasure and sensitivity when stroking, touching, kissing and licking.
This nipple clamp is made with Nickel-free metal clamps and a chain with silicone-tipped clamps for cushioned comfort. Designed for couples, you can use this solo and invoke intense nipple pleasure.
At My Mercy Beaded Chain Nipple Clamp Features:
- Adjustable nipple clamps fitted on a beaded chain
- Gentle pinch offers teasing pleasure
- Nickle-free material
- For solo and partner play
- Comes with a satin storage bag
Fifty Shades of Grey The Pinch Adjustable Nipple Clamps
Prettier than a bulldog clip and much more versatile, these adjustable nipple clamps are weighted for intensely pleasurable pain. Tipped in silicone for a cushioned clasp, they’re perfectly suited to beginners and pain professionals alike.
The Pinch Adjustable Nipple Clamps Prettier than a bulldog clip and much more versatile, these adjustable nipple clamps are weighted for intensely pleasurable pain. Tipped in silicone for a cushioned clasp, they’re perfectly suited to beginners and pain professionals alike. Key Features: Adjustable nipple clamps with weights Perfect for beginners though to advanced users Increases sensation and erotic response Weights add additional pressure to your nipple play Perfect as an erotic gift for your partner
Pinch Adjustable Nipple Clamps Features:
- Adjustable nipple clamps with weights
- Perfect for beginners though to advanced users
- Increases sensation and erotic response
- Weights add additional pressure to your nipple play
- Perfect as an erotic gift for your partner
#6 Bondage Toys: Masks & Blindfolds
Kinky sex begins with allowing yourself to explore and tune into your body. Blind folds and masks are great for bondage play because it allows you to get in touch with your other sexual senses!
Bijoux Indiscrets Blindfold – Shhh
You need only to close your eyes to step into a world of sensation. Shhh is much more than just a blindfold – it’s an invitation to irresistible suspense and fantasy. On the double sided ribbon, there are different messages – one to unleash your most ardent fantasies (Ohhh) and one for your more secret side (Shhh).
Shhh… Blindfold Features:
- Double Sided Ribbon
- Great for Foreplay
- Adjustable Straps
CalExotics Entice Blackout Eye-mask
CalEx Entice Blackout Eyemask. Designed for a ”total blackout” experience. Double padded, double stitched designer eye mask. Soft and plushy on one side with premium quality faux leather on the other.
Blackout Eye-mask Features:
- Elastic strap stretches to fit.
- Phthalate-Free PVC (mask)
- Polyester (lining, elastic).
- 8.5” x 3.25”/21.5cm x 8.25cm.
When you’re ready to upgrade to a 50 Shades of Grey experience, pull out the whips, gags, and paddles. Until then, it’s time to dip in between the sheets and legs of your partner with soft bondage for beginners. It’s an excellent way for couples to increase their intimacy, relight the spark, and learn new things about one another.
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